Reverse Psychology
by gaffer42
Summary: A slice of life - what wouldn't YOU miss about Earth?


Teyla had actually acquired a taste for coffee, but found chocolate milk much more to her liking. She sipped her glass and nibbled her sandwich, sitting at one of the long tables that comprised the mess hall for the Atlantis residents. The table held about ten people, comfortably, fourteen if they squished. She did feel squished, and must have wiggled slightly, for Ford moved over a bit apologetically. She nodded a thank you.

Her reticence came naturally. It was an offshoot of her ability to lead her people, the knack for watching and listening, being friendly but not friends. She glanced around the table. Ford had flagged her down on her way to one of the quieter tables, and as he was one of the few she did, in fact, consider a friend, she had joined him in the group – which, she was pleased to see, contained all but two of the other humans she counted friends. Her team. Only Carson and Elizabeth were missing.

It was, she noted, composed almost half of military and half of research personnel. She smiled a bit at that – it would please Elizabeth that the two groups were associating by choice as well as need. Farther down the table, Sheppard caught her eye and smiled, and she returned a nod. McKay was at the other end, talking with Zelenka – it appeared, of the scientists that had joined the Earth force when it made the trek, Zelenka came closest to matching McKay idea for idea and argument for argument. It was getting a bit loud, she noted. They both looked as if they were enjoying themselves immensely, though, so she turned her attention to what Ford was discussing with Private Sheraze next to him.

"...it runs out we'll have to do without!" Sheraze sounded aggrieved, and Ford chuckled.

"Peanut butter, Tahiyeh?" he teased her. "It's peanut butter you're worried about? I miss fish, myself. A fresh salmon, caught off the pier and fried in butter on a cast iron frying pan over a roaring fire. On the beach."

"I miss fresh apples." Stuart, a research associate sitting across from them, contributed.

"Fresh anything of any kind." someone sitting next to him said.

"Starbucks." And it seemed to be spreading over the table, and she could feel the energy of the discussions dragging, as everyone started to think of what they were missing about being on Earth.

"A nicely barbecued steak."

"Soft towels fresh from the dryer."

"Gardening."

"My dog." and that made the mood plummet. She was trying to think of something to stem the tide, when Sheppard coughed elaborately at the other end of the table. He eyed McKay, and Ford and Teyla together, and she knew he had a plan and needed their help. Working together gave them a certain insight, she knew, but didn't realize it carried into their everyday lives. It was rather pleasant to know.

Sheppard stood and pulled out a notebook, flipping the first sheets over and securing them with an elastic.

"Pass this around." he said, handing it to Lee So, next to him. "Everyone take a piece. We all have pencils? Pens?" He nodded. "If you don't, borrow your neighbour's."

There was some grumbling, but the book got passed, and everyone ended up with paper.

"Now. We all know what we miss about Earth."

"Oh, yeah." someone muttered. Teyla glanced down, but it wasn't Rodney who had spoken – it was Zelenka. Sheppard eyed him, but continued.

"So. As a team-building exercise" and there were groans all round the table "I want everyone here to write down at least one thing they do NOT miss about Earth."

There was a renewed chorus of groans, but Rodney's voice rose above it.

"Traffic on the Beltway!" he stated firmly. "I don't miss it! Anyone here miss traffic?"

Teyla caught the small glance Sheppard threw the scientist in gratitude, and Rodney's slight nod – imperceptible to those who didn't know the two as she and Ford did.

"Like that. Just one thing. More if you think about them. You have two minutes – hand them back to me when you're done."

For two minutes there were no sounds but pens and pencils on paper, the occasional "can I borrow your pen" and – surprisingly – chuckles.

"Time!" and the papers made their way back.

Sheppard sat and started opening them, nodding, laughing a bit. A moment later he stood. "Ford, I need some tape" he said, and Ford trotted off to get it, returning by the time Sheppard had finished unfolding the sheets.

"OK – the first one I have...sing out if it's yours...Smog!"

"Mine!" "Mine!" two voices shouted – Ford and – Teyla searched her memory – Carron. Ford gestured for Steve Carron to go first.

"Well, Dr. McKay will know this – air quality advisories in Toronto. When you're on a high floor in a skyscraper you can see this orange-brown band just sitting over the city – smells like hell."

McKay nodded knowledgably. "So true. And if you have allergies you're screwed." he said sagely.

"Los Angeles." Ford said. "Beginning of the week and it's clear, as time passes it gets so you can't even see the mountains. And it gets in your clothes and everything."

Sheppard nodded, laid the sheets down and stripped off a couple pieces of tape, fastening them firmly to the top of the table. He opened the next one.

"Military band?" he read.

Zelenka raised his hand.

"Outside my apartment on the base, they practised, six oclock every morning. Whumpa, whumpa, whumpa. And they weren't even good!"' he sounded so aggrieved Ford couldn't help snickering.

Several were duplicates – "Speed traps" grabbed two, which necessitated describing cars and traffic, and then speed limits to their friend from offworld, "Telemarketers" had three votes, including McKay, and that ended up in a discussion of the market economy versus barter.

"Television adverts" had three, and the explanation sort of naturally grew out of the economic discussion. "Paperwork" was Sheppard's, and an allusion to the fact that military superiors were far more demanding of forms than was Weir. The final one – "Politicians" – gained a great, rousing round of applause from the table. Sheraze ducked her head, unused to such acclaim, and smiled.

"OK." Sheppard said. "I'm leaving paper and a pencil here. And tape. Pass this message around - the next time anyone gets down about being here, they're under orders to come here and write down something you don't miss. Stick it here. I want to see this table covered by the time we return to Earth."

"Orders?" Carron asked mildly.

McKay snorted. "OK – he's ordering his people, I'm asking mine nicely, but the result better be the same!"

Carron shut his mouth and nodded. Another glance passed between the head of security and the head of science, and Ford noticed too.

"Aren't we due for a briefing?" he said, standing.

Teyla nodded, and stood, but held back a bit and observed as the group dispersed, admiring how Sheppard had taken what could have been a depressing situation and turned it on it's head.

And she decided, again, that she had really been rather intelligent when she chose to join his team.


End file.
